I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Upside of a two-day migraine: thanks to a prominent "E" in the middle of every pill, I think we can totally pass off Excedrine Migraine as ecstasy to stupid, drunk freshman. This is totally going to happen. That entrepreneurship course is paying off.
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
Doing lines off a plate that says, "things go better with coke."
Slept with my first Irish dude before I even got off the plane. Dublin has no idea what I have in store for it.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
Just text the random number in my iphone notes that was entered at 1am. Should be interesting.
Watching this game makes me realize that we have yet to do Skype shots. What kind of long distance alcoholics are we?
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
He really is. Owns his own house and has more than one towel!
Randomize
