bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
Words of wisdom-never eat a peanut-butter covered banana on a construction site ever again
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
Going through my purse trying to find money for this cab but all I keep pulling out if chicken from my burrito o ate an hour ago. Help?
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
I JUST SNEEZED WITH A MOUTHFUL OF CHEWED UP CASHEWS AND THEY CAME OUT MY NOSE AND IT HURT AND NOW I HAVE A LITTLE NOSEBLEED
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
We got high, had sex, and watched retro scooby doo shows. Best friends with benefits yet.
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