So drunk, too bad you don't want this
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
its 9am and we're in an escalade. I have no shoes and my dress is on backwards. I feel like we're the morning after a rap video
There comes a time in a man's life when he's almost thirty he just needs to stop watching Degrassi. This is that time.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
How did a couple beers and monopoly turn into a bottle of vodka and throwing eggs at eachother in the kitchen?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Gas station champagne. And before you say anything I'll have you know it's imported. From California. So get fucked.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Drinking is such a hassle. I wish I could just press a button and be drunk.
Randomize
