she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
Tonight was fucked up. First my mom called me and told me I had to go to the bar to pick up my dad 'cause he was drunk. Then when I got there my dad was doing a body shot from this lady who happened to be my 1st grade teacher. By far the most awkward car ride home. Idk if I should tell my mom or not.
I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
yeah, but i heard shes schizophrenic
i wouldn't even care dude, i'd fuck her and all 7 of her personalities.
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I almost shit my pants in anger over your moral sanity.
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
I'm reliable. I always make it home. I always throw up in the street too.
So i had a feeling this dude with one leg in a wheelchair was following me around Walmart turns out I was right. He just asked for a picture of my feet.
i mean i let him but still...
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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