I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
well I can't set my house on fire every night
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
I hope one day I make out with someone in a taco truck :(
I'm glad I inspire you to reach for the stars
Or a taco
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
Did you know they have a bouncer at Applebee's because I did not
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
I did not marry a roomba.
Randomize
