What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
she was so hung over that i had to hold her hair while she puked in a trash can in the middle of the student center as new freshman and their parents walked by.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
well let's see. after you forcefully shoved a half-eaten apple in my mouth, you ruined the pepsi by dumping an entire beer in there.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
My VP dropped me off at the Strip Club in Houston. Just said "I was never here".
When i was tripping hard i was banging Jeff's roommate and her room turned into Hogwarts
Also when we were banging i thought my high school librarian was perched up on top of the stereo like a gargoyle but it ended up just being her cat
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
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