i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
I'll write directions out on a napkin and slip it to him. Then say P.S. The UTI is gone.... that's not creepy at all right?
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
Mat is currently running around his basement "trying to catch oxygen in his mouth."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
When he said he lived in a closet I thought he meant his room was really small or something... But he actually has a queen size mattress on the floor of his roomates walk-in closet.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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