Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Pretty sure a homeless guy just told me to 'lick his balls clean' because I looked at him.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I don't even know man. I was to busy having beer showered on me and grabbing some balls
OH HAPPY DAYS YOU'RE BOTH GINGERS YOU'LL REPRODUCE YOUR OWN KIND
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
I feel like everything in my life has been preparing me for my future sex robot experience
You’re so close!!!
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