did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
he put listerine on his cock to make the taste more "enjoyable"... i think hes a keeper.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I didn't think about how painful the pumpkin seeds coming up the next morning would be. Oh well, I'm good at making pumpkin seeds and that's all that matters.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Okay so the couple who keep propositioning people for threeways are def siblings not bf/gf
So are you gonna do it or no you said they're hot
.......he just venmo charged me for the burrito I was eating while he broke up with me
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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