also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
it felt like a thousand fairies were licking my balls.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize
