found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
Is it bad to use cherry nyquil as substitute for grenadine? Because i just went there.
Nah, totally cool. It already has the alcohol in it.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
One of my students just told me turtles are lazy and need to get a job. Fuck yes, my job here is done.
drunk taco night MLK would want it this way.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
What is the current exchange rate for ramen to jello shots?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
Randomize
