Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
I just gave an orange Froot Loop the finger for falling on the floor instead of my mouth when I was pouring a mini box of cereal into my face.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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