The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
He just made a mudslide using rubinoff and swiss miss packets. This can't end well....
Transgendered man at work dawning a slutty batman costume. I hate Halloween
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
My stalker sent me an erotic poem. Who knew anyone could find a way to rhyme birth and girth so eloquently?
Best thing I ever did was get a dog. She's like a living trip alarm to warn me of visitors while I'm masturbating.
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
I think you know you’ve caught feelings when you’re asking a tinder boy his opinion about your current fuck buddy.
Randomize
