Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
I would make tea from her tampons just to see her tits
gail simmons from food & wine magazine just heard me order my plan b pill
did you ask her what wine to pair it with?
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I sent him this really overly apologetic text asking him out. It was just sad. Not even 27 shots of whiskey can grow me a self-esteem.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
This guy needs to stop asking about my feet
Randomize
