READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
You were yelling in my ear let's double team her with her right next to us
And after getting thrown out of the frat house, getting carried up the hill for a half an hour, puking 5 times, and almost getting stopped by campus security, she still insisted he sleep with her. Gotta give her credit, even blacked she kept her eyes on the prize
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I gave them the 'I used to fuck your son' discount.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
