I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
I need a burrito and a hug.
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
He invited to drink but spelled forties wrong so no thx
I appreciate your acceptance of my lack of morals
I've been really sick the past 4 days. Last night, I actually turned down a bj. I may be dying.
Randomize
