I want to fuck you on the side of the bed tonight.
babe, don't say it like that!
I'm sorry, I want to penetrate you on the edge of our sleeping quarters this evening.
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I smell like booze and the valet literally buckled me in, def top 3 walks of shame
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I walked out of the bedroom naked holding a used condom only to be greeted by half of my family. Happy birthday mom
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
You use your abs way more than I realized. Btw multiple orgasms is the best thing I've ever discovered.
Randomize
