I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
im a genious. moved my bed and mirror so i can watch the game while Fucking
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
My face smells like vagina and Im on my way to court. Fuck.
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
" my drug dealer just stopped by and did an elmo impression for my 2 year old nephew."
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
Randomize
