i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
Randomize
