The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
i had a mental breakdown over a math asignment proposed to a glass of chocolate milk then burned my hands when i acidentally leaned on the stove i have the grill marks burned on my hands i can see them
its only been 20 minuts since i last saw you
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
These are the things that make me so grateful... that I slept with your sister instead.
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
Randomize
