My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
Someone want to explain the bottle of ranch I found in my pants
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
its not like i called off work either time for the purpose of tripping, it was more like well, i have nothing to do now today, there is acid and im only human.. but twice
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
Randomize
