I woke up this morning naked, with a to-go box from Qdoba, an entire meal completely untouched. I have been piecing together my night to find some answers. I feel like Nancy Drew.
so. which one of us is going to pay for the neighbors new window? it cracked when i threw the bottle at it but smashed when you threw yours.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
He's texting from midnight mass asking for nude pics. Baby Jesus is spinning in his manger as we speak
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
Just walked into the library with a case of Strawberitas in hand.. no one said a word.. I think they were just impressed I knew where the library was
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
I want to fling myself into the sun
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
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