His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
I need to buy a mesh tank top to fit in in Florida. Where do they even sell that shit?
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
You were shirtless with a cowboy hat in 15 degree weather then u shotgunned a can of mixed vegetable Progresso soup
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
A+ Viking dick
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Randomize
