It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
i'm at the point now where i want him to say anything. even an apology for his boomerang-shaped penis would be nicer than no comment.
You couldn't hold yourhead up but you managed to unzip my zipper. That's skill..
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I just laughed at the word pudding. I have no idea whats going on right now.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
You tried to lick the lightbulb and fell off of the chair onto my wife and gave her a concussion. Did i mention you were naked?
So i dislocated my knee but still went home and fucked his brains out. Nothing gets in the way of my sex life. NOTHING.
Randomize
