Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
Just saw 3 10-year olds in business suits drinking iced coffees at the cafe. I'm officially a failure if these kids have jobs and I don't.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
His IQ is so high, I swear I started ovulating when he told me the number.
for a while, i completely forgot that you wrote "fuck me" on my stomach before we went out. when he took my shirt off that night, he just looked down and said, "may i?". i think i'm in love
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
I just had sex in the men's bathroom of a Chinese buffet...
YOU ARE MY HERO
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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