Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
so let's talk penis.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can't even use my hands i'm so hungover
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
See, this is why we give you shit. Ashley gets her car cleaned out, I get multiple enchiladas made, and you get cum in your eye.
Dude you were so wasted you thought a fake electric candle was real and tried to light your cig with it. Multiple times.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
