OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
u know ur in oregon when the cop tells u to keep the beer cans he made u pour out so u can recycle them
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
He had a vasectomy. I think I'm in love.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I suppose writing him up is more professional than keying his car.
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