In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
its 10 pm and i am cleaning vomit off the ceiling. i am nowhere near drunk enough for this to be funny.
just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
I swear she's a drunk klepto...by the end of the night she had stolen 3 bowling balls. HOW DO YOU STEAL 3 BOWLING BALLS?
I'm totally wasted about to ride water slides. That's goddamn 'Merican. That and Clint Eastwood.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
I just closed two deals on my laptop from my bathroom while smoking a bowl, like a bawssss. Working from home is my favorite.
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
Some guy walking down the sidewalk just looked at me and said "hey it's the world champ". How drunk was I on Friday...?
It's a weird kind of sexy when a guy has a bunkbed with his roommate
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