No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
No I remember falling down the stairs I just don't remember it hurting.
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
I've never played a more sexually-tense game of Uno in my life.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Anything you tell me within three minutes of an orgasm isn't even being recorded in my head.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
I'm so drunk I forgot what to do to go pee.
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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