She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
he just booty called me in advance instead of waiting til 3 am when hes trashed. i think thats really considerate and gentlemanlike.
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
5 am booty call.. And I went I need to gain better control of my vagina
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
My now ex hook up buddy realized I was hooking up with others when she saw my spotify sex playlist making appearances on fb. fml
I found them in the bathroom trying to wrap an American flag around Steve's dick. I didn't bother to ask questions.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
Something must have happened, they started yelling truffle butter and you said we needed to leave NOW
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
You shouted "my financial aid just came in, who wants a shot?!" Half the bar followed
Randomize
