You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
she was definitely wearing a bumpit. i think it was the hollywood bumpit. i told her that i lived with my parents to get outta taking her home.
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
I am literally watching TV with sunglasses on because the brightness hurts my hangover
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
Randomize