with your own penis?
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
my mom just texted me to let me know that Hooters is hiring
i wish my mom had big dreams like that for me
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
I think the main reason you were throwing up so much was the quart of soap you chugged trying to burp bubbles. you came close
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
That's always how I imagine things at your apartment...
Good, I'm glad you don't have some weird, skewed, clothed version of reality over here.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
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