A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Mental note: adding peach schnapps to a gin and tonic does not "water it down."
sometimes i think my sole purpose in life is to cockblock my roommate
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Good for him. He wanted to accomplish walking across niagara, I'm hoping to accomplish not throwing up tomoro nite, we all have our own priorities in life.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Fuck that, come home. Let's get drunk and judge people.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
