I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
I woke up under a table, with a huge Mexican sombrero, a box of 120 doughnuts and a bloody nose. It all screams success.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
Taking advantage of alcohol's depressant capabilities to curtail my fever. SCIENCE!
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
you were on a whole other level. you went home with him because he said "you got some light ass eyes"
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
my comprehension of H.D. Thoreau really dives after 8 beers.....
It will astound me if they ever let you graduate.
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
