It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
she just stared at nothing and then looked at me and goes, "that's a weird place to put the wall"
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
Cops swarmed my car last night in the walmart parking lot cause of the paper plate
Randomize
