we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
On 3 separate occasions, she grabbed my bullhorn to announce to the entire party she had fucked me.
Your French couch surfers have just started playing flip cup with old crow. Basically you need to come back here
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
If drawing me a picture of his dick in draw something is flirting then he is doing it wrong.
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
I’m going to give his broken heart CPR with my vagina
Randomize