if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
I think that's the key to being an adult though... Get those rapid fire beer shits out I the way early, then you can go about your grown man business
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I had to watch them play Salty Cracker. I have never seen a grown man cry with a boner before
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
She bought my penis dinner and beer last night. Her words
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize
