Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
Ok wear gym clothes just in case we feel like going shitfaced to the gym
There are two types of people in this world I don't trust: people who collect stamps, and people who don't drink
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
I'm bleeding and have questions
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
Well now I’m in the bathroom puking up absinthe so guess I beat myself up over it one way or the other
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