i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Your last words were "i'm gonna motorboat the bartender." then you commenced with an attempted motorboat
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Just shook hands with the bud light truck driver, thanked him for his service to our country
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
She had like a side ponytail and hoop earrings though. And legwarmers. Like a horrible 80s nightmare. Don't drink and dream, dude.
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Randomize
