I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Do you know my vagina holds 14 pints of water?
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
The 30 seconds of sex was almost worth it...I mean he did smoke me out and watched the princess and the frog with me
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
...and as she's going down on me I look at the speedo and I'm doing 15 under, with 6 cars tailgating me, and I know her parents saw her head pop up because they were the car right behind us.
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
