Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Btw, do you want me to fix this with a box of wine and a chick flick or is this more of a 'lets head to the strip club' problem? I'm just trying to analyze the emotional depth of the situation.
I left my bra and a book at his place. He's a hot Scandinavian who is into physics and computers - had to step up my game.
I just put on my phone calendar to remind me of my final child support payment in 2029
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
