Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
Based on her brazillian stubble I would guess her plan had been to wait one more date before sleeping with me. Seems the plan was flexible.
Protip: If you slur the word 'tipsy', you've progressed beyond tipsy.
Just found out my 21st birthday is on a Wednesday. The possibilities are cheap, as well as endless.
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
she fell THROUGH the wall. All in all id have to say that my neighbors where pretty chill about it tho.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
Dude, fuck these noisy kids, fuck all this light, and fuck you for getting to sleep while I have to be productive and hungover.
Randomize
