I can tuck mytits in my pants
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
