your parents love me but you hate me
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
In other news, someone I've had sex with won jeopardy last night.
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
We proceeded to buy tattoos from the dollar store and interpretive dance to of monsters and men, it's safe to say he's my new fuck buddy
It might've been him telling me last night that he "doesn't even need beer goggles to fuck me." When I thought that was sweet, I realized something needed to change.
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
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