Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
It's really awkward/depressing when you are wearing heels larger than his dick
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
i woke up at 4 pm face down on my hardwood living room floor. i would say its a new low but i think I found my new napping spot
I'm dying of laughter, but I'm also just dying
Send help
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
I feel like I'm in a astronaut outfit like I'm a spaceman & I'm just floating around cause that's all you do in space is float and I'm floating to be in detail
Houston we have a problem
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize