i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
I am his drunk Jesus. I will love him from afar because he's my little lamb
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
ALMOST WRECKED MY SCOOTER. DAVE FRANCO HAS A TWIN AMD HE GOES HERE
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
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