Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I've already reverted to sweat pants. And lonely drinking.
The cop told you to put your hands behind your back and you slurred "I'm not falling for that again"
And then we made magical love in his room under a blacklight as his roommate and girlfriend argued violently in the living room
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
I need to thank someone for this kid's penis.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
Randomize
