just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I went to go pee and found a strand of your hair wrapped around my penis.
She introduced herself and then asked "have you ever fucked a girl with a cast?"
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
Can you pinpoint the moment you decided it was acceptable to trade blow jobs for beers or was it a gradual slide?
planned ethnic drinking holidays while bored at work thru next may. I don't suppose you have any scots or russian in you?
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Because I was drunk or stoned for 4 days. I either made terrible decisions or none at all.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
Idk I've taught my 18 month old how to say nipple so kids aren't all bad
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
