I swear she didn't look like that last week.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
Henry's handball, Tiger Wood's Car Crash, Roger Federer losing ... That's it....I'm throwing my Gillete away
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
I don't know... But I do think this is probably the longest series of texts we've written discussing your cock. David was right, it is a brave new world. Also, slow day at work again?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
So how does one go about leaving their family vacation to hang out with someone they met on tinder
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
I've spent so much time on tinder lately I just tried to left swipe an instagram photo of my neighbor
The lady in the stall next to me just screamed "why are you so hairy!?" and "why can't you get any!?" to her vagina. WTF
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