hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
i regret nothing . he quoted dr. suess . he deserved that bj .
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
conclusion: canadians have really freaky sex
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
