I love being friends with rich people. I get laid by association.
Saw a guy smoking a cig holding it with a fork and driving WTF?
I wish I only lived at night.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
There's two girls at the bar sniffing each others boobs.
My prof gave me extra credit for drawing a ninja on my paper and writing "ninja will up my grade"
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Randomize
