2:45a: Any chance you got 3000 bucks on you?
Someone shit on the floor
he said i was weird because i want to have sex in public places.
i dont think thats weird i think thats fun
i forgot to tell you, he fell asleep outside my house again last night, but im weird
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I just bought a bong from a hot dog stand.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
Apparently I drunkenly told him I was going to ride him to the rodeo and break him like a bronco, then I stole his nachos and beer. Adulting is hard!!!
Randomize
