Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
Just snuck alcohol into the hospital for my mom.
I'm going to buy you a pony but under one condition: you have to name it sarah jessika parker
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Why is your name written on my hand surrounded by hearts and a bartenders phone number?
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
New rule for Thursdays: no high gymnastics
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
where are my eyebrows?
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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