She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
There is literally a guy in my class with a gallon of water and a trophy.
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
Hahah fuck. I keep looking to make sure that stupid line doesn't show up when my guards are down. Babies can sense fear.
Yeah, this dress is irreparably whorey. I've resigned myself to being a family scandal.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Okay I shall begin. Thank you Swedish chef
Hurrfy smmurdshy burrfst!
That is the exact response I was looking for.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
If it's any consolation, I made really strong brownies yesterday and had 3 and then I saw demons
Just walked past the field playing Jesus music with a fanny pack full of condoms and beer. Happy Sunday.
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
Randomize
