please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Grow some girl-balls and come out already
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
I took in his dog. My exboyfriend still calls me for 2 things, blow jobs and animal rescue. I need to end this cycle
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
I was watchin a porno and I sware I saw that dude at the bar at applebees the other night
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
Randomize