took him home. told him i would rock his world. passed out. a for effort f for follow thru
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Random fact of the day: cum is a really good eye makeup remover
Can you bring me a pair of sunglasses to the bathroom please... Don't judge me.
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
I cant feel my face. Like I dont even know if I have one. I wish I had a helmet
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
Woke up in a cemetery. Puked in front a funeral ceremony that was going on.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
