Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
I am drinking with my family and the average drinking tolerance is a shot and a half. I feel like the incredible hulk.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Walking back from greek row alone at 3:30am in a child's kangaroo suit...not my proudest moment
He fell off the roof... he clearly has not been preparing for summer.
This creepy guy was following me and i hid in the bushes. i could say i was high as an excuse but honestly it was straight up fun.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
She was here for a threesome... She doesn't have to put the new roll of toilet paper on the dispenser. She can leave the new roll wherever she wants!
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
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