It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
When I am this hungover I become increasingly grateful for having my own private office
I need a "no soliciting" sign for your dick
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