Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
def just vomited mimosa in the gym trashcan. i weigh less already so i say its been a solid workout.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
So from the residue on my balls I think it was mashed potatoes she had in her mouth
I don't know what he did but now I'm terrified of mustache rides and it's only movember 3rd
Jesus once told his disciples that its better to hang out with your best friend than give some douche bag a bj.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Get a piano. I want to have sex on it.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
I never thought I'd be complaining about having sex 4 times a day, but here we are...
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