Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
I wish I only lived at night.
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
You got called a pussy at a party with a slow cooker, you can't let that shit slide
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You have no idea the kind of bodily contortions I had to do to access your neighbor's WIFI
I just realized how terrible that was... I was drumming on your penis to a song about Baby Jesus.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
His eyefucking isn't even normal eyefucking; it's eye anal.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
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