and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Why do you keep getting laid in MY dreams
I have your dog in a headlock. Se wants my mushrooms.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
Would you judge me if I made John grow a bush while he is in Cancun so he doesn't cheat on me?
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I woke up on a park bench with a nice homeless guy waking me up. I bought us Carl's Jr. Best birthday ever!
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
Randomize
